take me for a [bike] ride.

i think wednesday is the worst day of the week. monday's do-able, cause everyone else is half-awake too and it ends with fhe, and tuesdays i always took less classes, and it usually ended with something happy. but wednesday...ugh.

i think it comes from college. cause the weekend still feels far away, but i couldn't relax yet cause i always had a million things due wednesday.

therefore, for subconcious and not presently logical reasons, i woke up hating today.

i remedied it with a can of mountain dew (opened not only before noon, but before eight thirty, you're repulsed, i know) and lots of top forty music (and now i REALLY need to dance). (also making me feel very weird, having not listened to any of this, stuff, in awhiiiile...) very effective. and the day is almost done...whud's up.

i love her:

riding bikes, making out...brushing teeth.

i love these two.

and the former? three very good things.

thanks, jónsi.

i love my roomates. talking and cooking and laughing and everything with them. last night i related to my darling viv a delightful and hilarious transition of events in my life...isn't it great how insane things can be in the present, but in retrospect they're just really awesome? i'm really grateful for my life, and the things that have happened in it. especially 2006 on. it's been pretty bomb. (also, it's just bomb that me and viv are the same person, there's that.)

missionary work is so great. i received a long awaited (well, honestly, they're all long-awaited, i'm an incredibly impatient person) letter yesterday, annnnd to be honest, even though he's my bestest friendie ever...i can't hear his voice anymore when i read them. partly because he's grown/changed soooo much. missionary work is the most eternal, selfless, wonderful thing EVER. I just wish i could go right noooow. but i know i can prepare more first, so i can be more effective, so it's okay.

one more thing. biiiiiking. is. sooooo. great. i want it to be warm forever. or i just may run away to a warmer climate so i may keep riding til my bday.

cloud cult's new album + jónsi + great thoughts about life previously discussed with a dear friend= best ride eeev. er.

try it?

bye.

the goverment is lying....

i just did this little listy thingy on effbook, in which each participant must pick twenty of the most influential albums in their life.

i think, my distrust of authority and especially the government, leads back to my adoration of box car racer back in 7th grade.
cool beans.

jk. it really was interesting though, you should probably try it.

anyway. guess WHAT. i can BREATHE now(kinda). nothing makes me appreciate oxygen more than the lack of it. last ...thursday? evening, i started feeling a little ill. I assumed it was just because I was lacking in sleep--I'm really good at that, lacking in it, I mean--and didn't worry about it. Then the next day, was a GREAT birthday celebration, and my infirmity became a reality. But I didn't have any time for it. We went on a mountain drive, had a darling picnic, then a beautiful italian surprise dinner party, then a dance party, then a bike ride, then a movie, then a little sleep, then another mountain drive, then a walk down university avenue, then costa vida, then another walk, then a friendy chat, (in the middle of all of this, ratch got sick too, haha) then a little sleep, then church and meeting and meeting, then movie, then fireside, then dindin, ward prayer, a little sleep, class, work, dinner club, fhe, thennn....anyway, since rachie got here last wednesday, i've been having a ridiculous amount of fun, but i was sick during most of it.

WHICH. made me appreciate. good health. all i had was a cough and a stuffy head. and it was difficult to think, to talk, to eat, to sleep, to play, to move for very long, to stay awake, to learn...it was pathetic. i can't even imagine what it would be like to have a real limitation...like paralysis in my lower body. or no sight. or an auto immune disease.

i am grateful, for my healthy body. (disclaimer: i'm still a little sick. so don't expect my voice to sound cute. althoooough i'm pretty positive i'm no longer contagious, jon michael. holler. :) )

aren't we cute? (gracias por la foto, rrrubie.) i also, am grateful for best friendies.

uncertain sideways streets, where things that don't match meet!

school starts ONE WEEK FROM TODAY.
and i'm SUPA excited. honestly. partly for school, but mostly cause all the new PEOPLE. at work, in classes, in the ward...i haven't even met my roommates yet. any of them.

i'm also RIDICULOUSLY excited for people to return to provo...some have been at home, some have been across the country worrrrking, some have just been visiting nice people and places since last week...but i am READY to have you all BACK.

:)

this is my last week at the skyroom, and of course it's without dee. lame. oh well. i will miss my dear dee (of course), porterrockwell, embly, jamie, and sam. well, mostly everyone. mostly. haha.

no matter what's happened in my life, how stupid or clever i've been, if i can look back a few months and say to myself "you know WHAT, you learned a lot. good job. keep going. you can do even better. and you did better than before." then i'm good.

i'm good.
come ooonnnnn september! i'm ready.

p.s.... awhile ago, i started a new phase, and began it with a picture of a sunrise. i think that phase is over. which is okay and great. but. just to show how much i love my DEE and to signify the termination:

bicycling on every wednesday evening...

i...really don't. i don't even know if i ever have. it's mostly been done every other day of the week, i think. haha.
anyway.

yesterday was our last real 236th summer semester ward activity. and guess what.
i was sad.

(i am aware, pretty much everything provokes some great emotion from me, which could mean you judge me to be dramatic...but if that bothers you, you should probably have stopped reading my blog by now. like, NOW. or i'm going to accidentally give you an ulcer, and i don't want that.)

I say to rachel (ratch), all the time, when I get upset about something "I wish I just didn't CARE." One time, she firmly, but kindly, said, "Missy, no you don't." And she's right, and I can't ever forget that. I'm never going to be good at saying goodbyes, but that's okay. If I'm ever in a state of not-missing-someone, either the second coming has occurred, or my heart has turned to stone. So. It's okay.
Also. I've felt a pretty constant feeling--especially since i started college--of frustration...that I'm always missing out on something. There's always somewhere else I could be, someone else I could be with, something else I could be doing. But, oh well. We have to make choices constantly in life, and as long as i don't repeatedly choose to sit home and do nothing, I'm going to have to be happy with whatever I'm doing.

SO. Since I've realized that I'm NEVER going to be able to do EVERYTHING that I wish I could, or I think I should, I should just chill out and be grateful for the things I HAVE done.

Sooooo.
thank you, my darling summer friends, (and eternal family) for helping me (since the beginning of May):
.live in the cutest, happiest, greatest ghetto apt EVER for four months with three of the BEST roomates,
.swwwwim,
.camp,
.have nice talks about everything i could possibly desire,
.be involved in the BEST ward with the BEST calling ever,
.make new friends,
.make better friends,
.read,
.enjoy otter pops and popsicles and snow cones and ice cream and un-cal-fro-yo and MOCHI,
.discover/experience lots of GREAT music,
.watch some old and new WONDERFUL films,
.try loooots of great cuisine,
.trust and be trusted,
.write happy letters,
.take happy photos,
.have fun at family gatherings,
.play at amusement parks,
.ride all over south provo on darling bicycles,
.browse the city biblioteca,
.enjoy porch sitting on summer afternoons and evenings and nights,
.shhhop,
.read lots of informative and some pointless magazine articles,
.attain more freckles and lightened hair from spending time in the ssssun,
.have bonfires. every time i remotely desired one,
.play at that freezing beautiful lake down the road,
.travel down that freezing beautiful river up the road,
.rrrroadtrip,
.looongboard,
.dance my heart out,
.overcome some secret and severely silly fears,
.play in the ocean,
.love urbanness,
.love suburbanness,
.utilize my sunglasses,
.have fun smelling drugs i'm not doing and sweaty people i don't know/attending excellent concerts,
.wear my favorite attire, over and over and over--tshirt and cutoffs/jeans,
.play with sparklers and fireworks,
.sleep in,
.laugh LOADS,
.get free breakfast,
.talk to important byu visitors and new zealanders,
.watch darling love sparks happen,
.cry for not sorrowful reasons,
.read excellent writing/see beautiful photos on bloooogs,
.LOVE,
.be loved,
.see GREAT things,
.gaze and wonder nightly at the BEAUTIFUL night sky,
.sing lots, with lots of talented guitarists and a couple ukuleleists,
.play a little bit of piano and ukulele and guitar...haha,
.help a little african's feet,
.deal with things i needed/need to,
.play nintendo,
.be creative,
.be artistic,
.express myself,
.watch some GREAT musicals,
.learn more about the gospel, people, the world, politics, government, ....lots of things,
.learn more about (by others' example): sacrifice, real love, selflessness, courage, patience, hard work, persistence, finding jooooy in all things...and so much more,
.experience joy and a special unity watching beautiful SOCCER,
.play soccer, frisbee, ultimate, and kickball,
.see a whole lacrosse game,
.enjoy countless gorgeous sunsets and other beautiful skies,
.learn lots of little slivers of languages,
.hear LOTS of awesome experiences in others' lives, especially about missions,
.and help me learn/remember a little better, who i am.

love you,
missy.