the footprints over the snow

IT SNOWED.

i love snow. did you know that? and i love to snowboard. and sled. and tube. and sit in the snow in waterproof clothing. and throw sticky snowballs at windows. i just don't like being cold. so i wear layers. no, i am not a polar bear because i grew up in utah, i just learned how to layer. no more questions about that now, please.


i'm done. i just walked out of my last final, and i stopped, and had a flashback from freshman year, as most of my best friends during april finals, would say: this is my last paper for two years, this is my last final for two years, my last class for two years...you get the point.


i said to myself: missy, you're done. for TWO YEARS.


what's up.


:)


p.s. my deferment papers are my bookmark in Peter Pan. perfect.

it's only change, and i'm only changing...

i've heard it a million times, and so have you:

yeah, i hated that area, but by the time i was transferred, i was so sad, cause i'd grown to love it.

i thought she was so obnoxious, but then we had to work together, and we got really close, by the time the class was over, i was sad i didn't see her anymore.

i had to work with him everyday, and at first he drove me crazy, but i grew to like him by the end, and i missed him after i left.

et cetera.

you start out in a situation, and it's hard. it's unhappy, you don't know what to do with yourself, you want everything to be "just like it used to be". you acknowledge that it won't, then you go to work. and it's difficult, but you see a change that grows and grows until suddenly, the situation you've been complaining about is now creating most of the happiness in your life.

by the time we're comfortable, we have to move on, so we can grow some more.

i finally am comfortable in provo. i don't just have friends, or fun, but it's my home. last night i had my last (maybe? probably.) sunday chat with ...probably my best non-gibson friend in provo... and it was surreal. we talked about the way we became friends, which is kinda crazy. lots of things happened that put us in the right place at the right time...and not all happy things. mostly not happy things, actually. but we both chose to make the best of things, and now, he's truly and honestly like the big brother i've never had. but of course, because we're only pseudo-siblings, we have to say goodbye now, and i don't know where we're both going to be in two years. but that's okay. we're leaving each other better, and i will never forget our friendship.

i'm going to miss my big brother, my best friends, my ward family, byu, provo, and living in the same city with four of my real siblings, but. i'm so excited for this next step.


goodbye provo, hello kaysville.


oh and p.s....it's almost christmas. be excited. :)
(official christmas tree of allred twelve, thanks going to my dear miss cassandra.)

come on happy lovers.

i hate sleeping. and i hate that i have to sleep. my friend told me if he had a super power, it would be to not need sleep. (genius.)

okay, i love sleeping. i just hate taking the time to do it. i don't want to give into it til at least two, and i want it to be over by eight or nine.

but last niiiiight. sleep wouldn't visit til after three. and i had to be at work at six. i worked for ten hours, then, completely exhausted, came home and fell asleep. for six stupid hours. i didn't wake up til midnight. my last friday, spent working and sleeping.

DUMB.

i. am. bugged.

(okay, about way more than that, but i'm just going to channel all right through there.)

watch and become educated, do not make my mistake:

don't. sleep. ever.

la verdad.

this. is what my front yard looked like when i woke up.
just kidding. hahah. zero snow. and it's warm enough to be october.
reason number 894 i would never go to byu-i or usu. :D

also:
true things (they must be. they MUST be.)

if you're speaking a language other than english in the library, no one can hear you.
if you make a joke about provo/mormons that grew up or live in utah/the "mrs." degree at least a hundred times, it beCOMES funny.
if you pretend you don't know someone often enough, they forget they know you.
if one speaks english in spanish class everyday, his (or her) class/professor will stop caring, and just let you do it.
tons and tons of people buy lysol after they hear those ads that play on playlist DURING your music over and over.
once i move back to kaysville, it will become equally excellent as provo.
aaaaaand:
if i get distracted enough, my paper will finish itself.

don't you evah, get too comfTAble. lemme catch my breath!

dang it. i love coming back to old, wonderful songs.

this. weekend. was. the BEST. and i super planned out one day, and let the other two happen, and they were PERFECT. even the awkward parts. like our bathroom ceiling sagging slowly to our destruction. hahhaha...but seriously.

change is really awesome. the ability to find new beginnings in so many different places, in so many different ways, is incredible. and even though we usually aren't in love with it, our incredible ability to change is beautiful. about every three months i've had in provo have felt like a completely different phase, and experience. i love this place, partly because the people and places i associate with are so open to my attempt to change, to refine myself, to stand back up when i slip. they may remember my past faults, but i'm not condemned for them. who i spend most of my time with is constantly changing and slipping, and what i do with these people. it's incredibly refreshing. a significant time marker just passed, of a sad day one year ago, last week. i brought it up with a dear friend, and the reflection felt like an ocean. there's no way i could imagine how much could have happened. so many things were pulled out from under my feet over the past twelve months, i kept climbing back up, and i was rewarded a thousand times over.

although the title^ was referring to a SEEYICK mash-up i've become re-obsessed with, it has a (n ironically) perfect eloquence of expression with my feelings of reflection. sitting on a shelf will never help us progress. each step of life should have new, more intimidating challenges. as long as we work hard, we'll learn. we're learning beings, and if we don't take advantage of it, we're hurting ourselves. it's nice to be comfortable, but it's better to grow. Neverland is such a nice thing to think about, but if we let the actual concept into our lives, we'll be stuck in a sad cycle of saying goodbye to our progressing, growing friends like peter. i hate being on that end of a farewell.

kay. i have to go be a writer. great.

love.

oh also...i love this. and them. :)

i love being honest with myself.

welp. this is my fifth publishing of blogposts today, thank you. some of ...most of the emotions and opinions i ranted about in those unposted blogs, i do not feel today, or in this present time in general, but it was still liberating.

p.s. i love provo. dang it.

i'm thankful:
for pretty much every late night this summer, and this fall
for everyone in my ward
for my bests
for my fam
for other people's birthdays
for beautiful cinema
for pumpkin pie
for homemade mashed potatoes
for library visits with the summer crew
for porch chats at both of those houses i adore
for missions and missionaries
for letters
for skaters
for spanish
for MUSIC
for snow
for automobiles
for escuela
for hats
for literature
for the gospel
for my parents
for long walks
for bike rides
for ice cream
aaaand for the heartache some of these things, and all the people that keep openly/verbally dreading my departure, are causing me.

p.p.s. a friend made a perfect analogy today: right now, at this point, i feel like i'm a driver in mario cart, trying to dodge bananas and bombs and shells, at the same time maneuver my vehicle so i stay on the road, and avoid hitting other vehicles, and drive as quickly as i can, so everything will turn out well. this was exciting at the beginning [of the semester], but now the level's getting really hard, and i'm sick of playing, and i don't know how everything's going to turn out...

alabama arkansaaaaaas.

i love covers, and i love remixes. i think this could be a reflection of the way i think, and live; i don't like to leave beautiful things of the past behind, i like to revisit them. however, if it's in a new light, with new people, an "up-dated" version of my experience, if you will, it's even better!

i love ben lee's cover of modest mouse's float on.

i love jason mraz's cover of bob marley's one love.

i love the "across the universe" covers of the beatles' let it be, i've just seen a face, because, and all you need is love.

i love the kooks' cover of ace of base's all that she wants.

i love the thrice cover of the beatles' eleanor rigby.

i love vitamin string quartet's cover of my chemical romance's helena.

i love the shins' cover of the postal service's we will become silhouettes.

i love death cab's cover of this charming man.

and i love pretty much every cover and remix of kids by mgmt: the kooks, chiddy bang, ben lee...and mgmt's own remix. (which i may be listening to right now and trying SO hard to hold still, in the library...failing...dp toNIZZight...anyway.)

then all of daft punk's alive 2007, especially harderbetterfasterstrongeraroundtheworld.

then there's the freaking hood internet (mashup remixes): two weeks of hip hop, giving up the sunshowers, back that sleepyhead up, rude baptism, comfortable up here, can you hear my kids now...i think you get the point.

that's how i think of life too. i like re-visiting memories, people, and places, and mixing it with my new life. that is why, i am sincerely excitement to move home in less than a month. new and old and love and GREAT.

AND, spacker's back...there's that.

annnnnnd, the point of the title: my favorite remix right now, below.

(no, i do not prefer it. blasphemous. but. i loooooooove.)
also, you can download it from them, for free, here.