ew.

i just....
okay. so my mom brought me straight to work. from kville. and i thought we'd get here in time for me to go to my apt and change first...but then the dogs...and laundry...and stuff...i had to go straight to work. in sweats. and a t-shirt.

now normally, i have a strict policy against wearing sweats in public, specifically on campus. and i realized i would be breaking that as i walked into work.

however, because it's spring term, when i walked out, there was hardly anyone. so i was like whhheeew. i made it.

then, right as i left the wilk, i passed a kid wearing an Armani t-shirt. with considerably beautiful jeans....

shame.

that's all i have to say.

home is whenever i'm with you!

okay...dandelions are flowers too.

jdawgs.

provo library lawn.

alec's (pre) birthday.

(inside of) beautiful fort. totally fell asleep (to peter pan soundtrack) in this, me rub and ratch's last night.

goodbye kidz.

MAY is bustin' out all overrrr!

sooo. i was thinking. back when i didn't go to college, may was such a great month. it was warmer outside, projects were being finished, school got a little easier, and everyone was in a better mood. :)

wait...already did that...awkward. okay. sooo. what's it supposed to be now?

haha anyway. i'm home right now...and it's just so confusing. i was hungry, and went to the pantry, and was so overwhelmed by the vast amount of food i'd actually like to eat...i ended up eating nachos, with premade sauce. healthAY missy, good job. anyway. i was playing with my padre's sd card to find a picture of baby mckay and landed on these treasures:

the easter bunny TOTALLY still visits this fam. hahha. (kyle and i searching)

and tiff was insistant that pregnant ladies are fully capable of hunting...(she was serious, she got like twice as many as me. though, i did get less than EVERYone...i'm not aggressive enough. haha.)

post hunting...(check out marshall's egg-hunting gear, please)

just kinda cute. and epic. (yo, mi mama, mi abuela, y mi hermano hiking in Zion's in Feb.)
my dad is a super winner at capturing great moments on camera. (also hiking in Zion's in Feb.)

sooooo...this week, our family expanded. here's mckay dale blanch in his daddy's arms:

nine pounds four ounces. big baby. :)

my family is great. and hilarious. i stole these all from my padre.

go family.

as you curse or praise all the things you've done...

sometimes i feel overwhelmed with the enormous amount of ...everything.
all the books i want to/should read
all the music i want to/should hear
all the art i want to/should see

it's kind of nauseating...and really awesome.


song of the day:


p.s. sunny sun...please stop teasing. just come out. i miss you ...like the sun misses a flower. (hahah. how confusing. name that film?)

it's been a long time, long time now, since i've seen you smile.

welcome back my dear friend. (sun)
i have loads of happy pictures i kinda want to share...but i need to find my cord.
haha.

i don't really LIKE getting obsessed with..."things", but it happens.
my" thing" right now, is beirut.



i love that feeling summer always gives me, like i can do ANYTHING and i don't have to care what ANYONE thinks, and i can just have fun with old and older friends, and famdam, and make new friends, and just plaaaay.(and work. for mone-AY)
i think it's because i've ripped off that mentality that i need to obey my scholastic instructors/institution.
see, i'd make a terrible teacher.

however, i will not gamble away my time. i am using EVERY moment.
now let me go see if i'm an auntie yet.
thank you, have a nice day. :)

it's the final beginning after the end, it's good to be ALIVE.

i took my third final today. i inadvertently arranged the perfect playlist for it a couple nights ago. as i walked out,

adVENture. we're taking off.
then,

what are we doing? what happened? do YOU know?
then

haha i can do everything. sooo.

perfection, mother.
hi summer. what's up.

i won't look back anymore, i left the people that do, it's not the chase that i love, it's me following you!

If you're having a ...confused, unhappy, questionable, missing, unsettling...less-than-perfect day, and you can't...think, listen to sufjan. i could NOT concentrate yesterday, until i started. additionally, i've been thinking about what a dear nathan said last night about music...how sensitive he is to it.

the reason i cry so much is because i love to let everything in. if i feel like anything...a movie, a song, a sentence, a look, an action, a conversation, had love and effort and passion placed into it by the creator, i'll give it a chance. sometimes i shut myself off, because it's more comfortable, but how can i live my life with my eyes half-open? so i opened them last night as nathan's choice of beautiful french music washed over me, and i went home and listened to some sufjan and worked on my paper, and cried, haha, and went to bed. and now, as i reflect over people and things and experiences and everything that i've learned this year, i can do it with my eyes open, and without that uncomfortable anxious feeling. i'm so grateful to so many wonderful people that helped me, whether they live in my ward, or in provo, or in kaysville, or in logan, or ...the DR, Brazil, CA, Canada, NY ...and i wouldn't take anything back.

i'm really glad i feel like this beFORE finals, so i'll be able to concentrate finally, and stop feeling anxious and unhappy and wanting this semester to end...haha.

anyway. thanks, everybody.
i hate sunrises. i also have a rather difficult time embracing change. but i'm doing that right now. hence, the picture.

oh, also, that WHOLE line^ in kick drum heart totally applies to me.
i'm excited for the future. for my life. for new things. and for development of other things. i'm not chasing someone i'm in love with, i'm chasing life.