she puts her hands against the life she had.

okay.

Sister Marissa Carol Gibson
MTC Mailbox # 184
WA-EVR 0517
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793     

is my mtc address, and

Sister Marissa Carol Gibson
Washington Everett Mission
POB 13390
Mill Creek, WA 98082-1390
USA                                        

is the mission office address, where you can send letters til i have my first area's address.

have a great 18 months. i'll be back. :)

bybye!

they say you gotta lose a couple fights to win...

 i'm done! i'm not not going to school anymore, working, living in kaysville, waiting for stuff to happen.

woooooow. (said like scott pilgrim/michael cera, please) i can't remember the last time i was this excited. and i feel so different. like, over big stretches of time, it's easy/interesting to see how i've changed, but i feel like i've changed and changed and changed just over the past...well, semester. (it doesn't really make sense to call it that, cause i wasn't in school, but it's exactly that stretch of time. :) )

I'm  supposed to talk on the resurrection tomorrow, and i'm having a hard time focusing on one thing, because there are so many GREAT events in the gospel around Easter.

(YESSSS. mom's not putting celery in the sandwiches. you're welcome, everyone that's going to eat one tomorrow. me and ashley definitely fought for that one. anyway.)

Everything is centered around it! The great faith of those who patiently waited, and had faith, and followed Christ, even if they never saw Him during their life on earth. Isn't that most of us? It is hard, I suppose, to believe in something so much, if we've never literally seen it, or experienced it, but. That's what this life is about! Having faith and persevering and making it work. Because Christ did come and atone for our sins, He was resurrected, and He will come again.

So much LOVE in my heart right now. Which is also what the gospel's totally about. We have this process of repentance through the atonement given to us because our Heavenly Father loves us, and wants us to be happy, and wants us to return to Him. And our Elder Brother volunteered Himself out of love.

i love my excellent friends i've grown up with, from birth to high school, and i love all the wonderful times i've had in this adorable county with them. i love all my baby missionaries, most of whom are getting home this summmmer, and i'm so excited for all of them and their families and friends! :) i love all my wonderful friends i've met in the places i've worked. sometimes those are the most awesome friends, because they're literally made through hard work. i love all my darling cawledge friends and all the crazy adventures we've had, and long talks, and grooowing experiences. and i love my family, most of all. SOOOO much. they are soooo wonderful and great and hilarious and awesome.

and MOST of all, i love my Father in Heaven. and that is why i'm leaving all these wondypants people for eighteen months. so that i can help bring happiness to the lives of many other people i'll come to love.

best wall paper ever, right? i'll miss it.

i'm. so. exciiiittttteeeeed.

nothin's gonna change my mind! (i'm travelin a different highway.)

nothin short of thaaankful.

Hey guess what. I'm leaving on a mission. Una semana from Wednesday.
I'm...going on a mission.
Finally.
I'm severely happy about it.

The last few months have been...crazy. Seriously, I'm nothing short of thaaankful. I had an awesome job at the perfect time, my hilarious wonderful family at home with me, dearest old friends from Kaysville, and of course my darlings an hour south in Provo.

I visited them (Provo darlings) this last week, and it was GREAT. (I missed some, but, that happens. I saw the majority, which was excellent.) I literally fell asleep in tears a few nights, so overjoyed for these darling people in my life.

Friends. Are such a blessing in life. (I'm not excluding my family in this, they're some of my top bffs, obviously. :) )

"Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes." -Elder Marvin J. Ashton

My friends have TOTES (hahha. totes.) done this for me.

I want to tell stories about how each of these great people I said seeyalater (not goodbye, NEVER goodbye) to this week effected my life, but then this blog would never end. I just have to tell you. Today I was watching the Faith in Christ video (if you haven't watched it, please do.) with my fam, and it made me think, Jesus Christ is our example in everything, and He was always such a good friend. He wasn't just a wonderful leader, and example, and brother and son, He was a wonderful friend. To so so sooo many people.
I want to always be that. (I mean, obviously I can't be nearly as good a friend as He was, but, that's what I aim to be, a good friend. yes.) I hope I have been. I will try to be better. I can't think of one time in my life that I've been having a hard time, and I haven't had a friend reach out and help me up. And Christ is always that friend. Oh man. I love the gospel. And The Church. And definitely my big brother Jesus Christ.

So, thanks. Friends. :)

Granted, this hug was definitely silly, (captured by Cass, haha thanks!aaaand my face is pink from laughter, not tears, DON'T worry) but. whudev. You think it's cute. I can tell.

(don't worry. this is not the end. i'm posting my address(es) friday.)

daaa da. daaa da da. daaa...

Welp. This day was great.
And I made this:

Also, I decided to start using my phone again last night, after mostly not for like two weeks (I'd just been with the fam and writing LOTSA letters...haha) and it was weird. Happy, but weird.
That's all.
Love.

veintiuno.

whuuuuudsup. hahaha.

he might never see her again.

hahah. the title is just an excuse to quote the avetts, it has zero to...okay lie. i have been wondering a lot lately if i'll be friends with any of my baby missionaries when we both back. all of them. i hope so. every one of them.

(I KNOW. I'M OBSESSING. SORRY. IT WILL PROB'LY ALL BE OKAY. YEP. SURE. KAY.)

GUESS WHAT (sorry, forgot it was on, but i refuse to go back...) missy's doing tomorrow! she's going to california!!!!!!! to southern california!!!!! before missy leaves!!!! to live on the ocean for a few days. :) soooooo happy.
well actually. missy will only make it to st. geezy tomorrow. but it's the first leg of da journey, otay?

i will swim. and eat. and LAUGH. because THIS vacation, i won't be sad (and pretending not to be) about something happening in my life. cause i'm just HAPPY!!!

(also, guess what. second to baby brother, just got his mission call to OREGON!!! eugene. so there's like three missions between us. but that's not the point. CRAZY!! and so GREAT. yesssss.)

jkl;fdsakl;afdskln;fdsa

oh hey. eepud's broken, so i was wondering what i should do. i should WRITE, duh. hahha. silly missy.


ooh ooh equation.
+
=

(missy+ocean=no, not equals the brothers avett, equals THE BEST!)

real life is more than just two hours long.

oh man.
annnnd their accents are beyond adorable.
i'm definitely okay with dating someone from NC that plays the banjo/guitar like that, in a couple years.
but really. they're such good men, married and solid and they have so much faith and hope in life, and they're so REAL.
just listen.

baby i'm worried too.

hmmmm. my relief at being done with TINs was too soon. yucky monday.

but it has been lightened by the dear Avett Brothers (who i MUST see live before i die) that have the best way of saying, well, singing, everything.



annnd i must say, i have the best of friends. :) (especially including my little MISSIONARY besties. awww. i and love and them.)



also, i love the church. because this and this. (my little brother's best friend/best friend's little brother is in Japan, so yes one of my first thoughts was the missionaries. but he's not in sendai or tokyo, and he's fine, don't worry.)

also. you can help! just donate $5 to the Red Cross. We can all afford that. Just click here or donate on iTunes, it's super easy. Or one of these sites, some of them are matching donations. I'm supa poor and i did it! :)


kay. i'm grateful i'm not worrying about radiation or being drowned or my house being destroyed or the whereabouts/safety of my family. being bored by TINs seems really silly now. sorry about that.

Keep Japan in your prayers! happy monday. bybye.

I WANT YOU BACK.

i love this. i think this is the third time i've fallen in love with it.





LOCAL NATIVES! playing at that cute washington festival i still won't be attending this year.

good work, boys. (and girl.)

how [will i] keep you, just how i left you...

my whole life, i thought whoever i married would be some crazy awesome wonderful mysterious person, and i had to make sure to be in the right place at the right time, and...i don't know, go out of my way to be open to EVERY possibility so my future husband from Arabia and i could meet.

but over the last couple of years, i've come to a beautiful realization: i'm going to marry someone i know. i know that sounds obvious. of course i'll know them. and i'm not saying that i know them right now, cause i don't think i do, necessarily. (although it is a possibility, i'll acknowledge.) but it's not someone that i NEED to make SURE i'll run into in a big city on the metro, or in some giant class at a university, or on a safari in africa.
he's going to be someone that i'm friends with, that's friends with me. he's going to be someone that appreciates me for who i am, and will take me in acceptance of my good and bad qualities. and i him. someone that compliments me in the way i think and live. and i him. we'll come to a point that we decide that we can work together, through everything, to stay together and make a life, and to obey certain and specific rules that will keep us happy, and always say sorry when we're wrong. we won't stray, neither me nor him, we'll always be there for each other, and we'll cooperate. we'll be bff. haha.

and it will be our decision. it's not some mystical fate that creates marriage and love. it's people deciding to be selfless and good, and making a wonderful thing work. it's not something to rush into, and it's not something to avoid.

sometimes when i've been watching too many movies, or only hearing the cute simple summaries of relationships, i start to panic and think i need to start spending more time on south american beaches, or being friendlier to the kids in my singles ward, but it's not about coincidence. it's about decisions.

and, hahah, my decision right now, is to not date. and then i'm going on a mission, where i definitely won't be dating, in any form. and when i get back, it'll work out. it might take quite a bit of time. but that's OKAY.

cause it is OUR CHOICE to live happily ever after.




(this is not to say awful and hard things don't happen, i'm just saying a lot of hurt and confusion and frustation and bad situations--in everything in life--can be prevented by realizing the power of CHOICE we have. like, perhaps, it would be a good CHOICE to not marry someone after dancing with them and consequently falling in love in...24 hours? cinderpants? :) )

squeaky swings and tall grass

i so want summer skin. but listening to that song outside of summer makes me feel slightly depressed.

maybe not quite this red. that was hot. and painful.

...eleven daysssss!

it's the coast I crave, leads me to my grave.

bikie bike. eepud. cameraaaa. i have to think these things when i want to be DONE and just play all day.
or when i start looking at a j.crew magazine...

and can i just say? i FINALLLLY got the letter from elder k. b. koenen, and baaawled.
what a baby. also, wow. growing up is crazy. great and scary, also.

on another note, i do like making calls for this company when they actually KNOW what i'm talking about. and IIII actually know what i'm talking about. hahaha.

and the countdowns: 48 days til Washington (well, really, provo. hahaha.), 16 days til Mr. Long Beach California. (and the cruuuuuise baby! (if you say baby at the end of something, it makes it more exciting. you also sound like 9 year old boy.) ocean! beach! food! fat! sun! yayyyy!)

one last thing. scott pilgrim vs. the world is a WONDERFUL film. it makes me smile just thinking about it. (literally, i'm smiling now.)


don't watch the trailer. it gives away the entire movie. (which i, personally, do NOT think a trailer should do. it should just entice you. like the kung fu panda 2 trailer.)
otay bye.

a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me.

invoices are da BEST. YUM. maybe i should just stay here forever, yeah?

on another note, the more i differentiate between profit and non-profit organizations, the more i'm determined to work for one. (non-profit) i'm not saying, of course, that everything should be non-profit, or everyone should only work for non-profit, that would be ridiculous, and not america, i just would like that to be my path. and before you say it, yes i do WANT to be poor. HA.

also. i know it's dumb. but sometimes it's REALLY hard to not get excited about things that are happening in...

forever.

like. the summer.

and stuff...like reuniting with people who seem to read my mind from whatever thousand miles away. and tell me i'm "the BAWST". (kbk) hahaha.

silly. meanwhile, 57 days 10 hours 8 minutes 10 seconds til midnight of that DAY.
after which i think i'll be a little busier, my head full of things other than whether or not we paid for that last shipment.

and yay for alice in wonderland winning TWO oscars! not that it really matters. but i love that film. :)

another equation for the provokiddz

reese's puffs + HOMEMADE french toast + utah lake + mochi + sister & sister's bff talks + sleeping in + cocoa bean artisan chocolate + fluffy snow + finding skirts that are mission appropriate AND attractive to missy = thanks, you wonnnnderful friendies. :)

BLEH.

(that was the barfing noise chunk makes. on "The Goonies".)

i really don't like this blog. i love the period of time in my life that it covers, but i don't feel that i've portrayed what i can/should to the world.

particularly because i went through my indie brat phase immediately after it began. haha.

therefore, it's going to die. (and by die, i mean i'm going to stop writing in it. i don't think i'll delete it. yet. maybe.)

i wanted to have some awesome-special-reboost as my 100th post, perhaps redeeming everything... but i wasn't paying attention, and it's actually just the post in which i announced my mission call. but i think that's fitting. because that's why this is ending.

I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to contain the most true gospel on the earth right now. And I know it's the one true way to happiness. Therefore, although I am conSIDerably flawed, I have chosen to dedicate the next 18 months (beginning April 27th) of my life to sharing it with others. I will be a representative of the church all day, every day, 24-7. It's just something I need to do. I want to help people to find love and happiness and worth in their lives; I've been so blessed, I know there are lots of things I need to do in return. And, for me personally, this is one of them.

SO. i will write til my bday. or something. maybe til i leave. i'm not having anyone in my family post my emails on my blog or facebook, i'd rather just write an old-fashioned letter to anyone that wants to hear from me. (and i've love to hear from you!) i'll post my address later. when it's closer. BUT. this is the official explanation of why this blog is going to be done when i leave.

i love blogging, i think i'll do it somewhere else, when i get back...we'll see. :)

you swept me away.

welp. about one year ago, i started this blog. and in about six weeks, it's going to die. but it was nice.

my heart's almost tired from all the love that's gushed out for

my sibs
my padres
my cousins
my grandparents
my aunts and uncles
my nephew
my bests
my friends
my leaders
my roomies
kids from kaysville/fh/f-ington/layton
kids [living in] provo
far-away missionaries
far-away anyone
my ward(s)
my neighbors
my schoolmates
my leaders (religious, scholastic, government..al?)

...a lot of people.
but it can't be tired. because the more i, or rather one, loves, the more love one has. and i get to go love a whole lot of washingtonians i've never met in just a little while.
and i couldn't be more excited. it is a very important thing, to everyone, to love, and be loved. i think President Monson puts it well:
go love someone.
also, i love you.

...this time: isolated in the room, where the [auditors lurk]

i love him. (Sufjan).

i also love fleet foxes. please purchase their new album in honor of everything wonderful, six days after i leave.

and guess what. it's THURSDAY. i'm starting to think it may be my favorite day. more so at school, where i can legitmately start the weekend (by playing til two...or later...) but. 30 rock and community are playing in kville tonight too...then yoga...

and i'm not going to provo this weekend. it's my goal. i'm not even allowed to accidentally go. i'm staying here. HA.

and please, the term is, "urban anglophile", not "indie kid". (thank you, [whoever reviewed Reservoir (deluxe edition) by Fanfarlo on itunes], for being so politically correct.)

also chistoso:

m: oh dang it, i forgot my...well. we can just carry...don't put them, no! don't use--
a: stop being so GREEN!

madre: where are you going?!
hija: the bathroom! i have to go really bad! i've had to for like--
padres (in unison): NO, you DON'T!

WELP.

i hate wednesdays. lots of "still"s on this one.

stomach still feels weird.

still tired.

still miss tyty and rachie.

still have lots of things to do...to my room, to write, to buy...

bleh. (still love making that barfing noise...haha)

perhaps tonight would be a good night for the swimming.

or...to get rid of some of the "still"s. probably. hmmmmm.

finally :)

washington everett. april 27th.

kaysville...is so cute.

SO. i live in davis county, right? ultimate sparkly mormon bubble?
yes.
adorable?
yes.
did the postmaster call my home (completely voluntarily) a few minutes ago to confirm the presence of a certain envelope with perhaps a mission call inside it, asking if we'd like to come pick it up early, or wait a few hours for him to bring it?
why yes, yes he did.

i think this is about to be the longest ten hours of my life. haha...

tres cosas

uno.
i don't really like all-american rejects. "swing swing" may have captured my heart in jr. high, but i've definitely moved on. however.
glee has this way of making me love songs. "truth be told i miss you, and truth be told i'm lyin!"
hahahha. great.

dos.
people i so DO miss:
(i can just hear his little NC accent) "Your buddy sounds like a real jerk." (hahhahahahhahaha.)
"The gospel isn't just something good, it is God's plan for us." (really, exactly.)
"Let's camp under a tree sometime." (hahhahahhahaha. love him.)
-elder davis

"The post office just ended a strike of 3 weeks, so you can't be all pissed, k??" (hahahhahahha...if there was any chance of me being so, it just went out the window at that.)
"Be really strong...it will all go alright." (ahh. miss him. love him.)
-elder koenen

tres.
wednesday: a;lsdkfalksjbvlkashbeiohao;ivhslkdjfssLKDJHAFLKUVBAE;KS;LVKJAS;LDKFJ;ALSKNV;LSDKGJA;LSDKJF;ALSDKFJ;ALSDKFJ;ASLDKFJ;
but you know, like, whatever.

listening to the inception soundtrack probably wasn't helping, but. another letdown.

next week for sure.
unless the postal service goes on strike.

i think i'm more sick of telling people i don't have it yet, than actually not having it yet.

meh.

dear p-vo, and its inhabitants:

hot-tubbing @ sparkle apple + canyon bonfiring + pvo temple + soda + fresh rms + sisters + nephew baby + voodoo salad + carpooling + 236 + breadsticks + mission talk +new friends + old friends =


thanks. that was great. times seven. kbye.

additionally.

three goals in my life:
uno:never be the lady that wears the chokingly strong you-can-smell-it-fifty-feet-away perfume, no matter how old i get.
dos:learn another language. preferrably spanish. preferrably not argentinian spanish.
tres: [unless he's married when i get back] sing all our favorite jimmy eat world songs together again, acoustic [again].

take me for a [bike] ride.

i think wednesday is the worst day of the week. monday's do-able, cause everyone else is half-awake too and it ends with fhe, and tuesdays i always took less classes, and it usually ended with something happy. but wednesday...ugh.

i think it comes from college. cause the weekend still feels far away, but i couldn't relax yet cause i always had a million things due wednesday.

therefore, for subconcious and not presently logical reasons, i woke up hating today.

i remedied it with a can of mountain dew (opened not only before noon, but before eight thirty, you're repulsed, i know) and lots of top forty music (and now i REALLY need to dance). (also making me feel very weird, having not listened to any of this, stuff, in awhiiiile...) very effective. and the day is almost done...whud's up.

i love her:

why can't you see yourself as beautiful as i see you?

I want to say that to everyone. Because you are ALL so beautiful.
also:

"The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people." -Elizabeth Gilbert, eat pray love

I haven't seen the film, I'm just reading the book right now. And I love it.
I want to say I'd recommend it to everyone, but I don't. It was perfect for me, to help me realize how I think, how I live my life, and how I used to, and won't anymore. Everything from her adoration of the Italian language and food, to her habit of clinging to people she loves helped me dive into this book, nodding my head with perfect understanding at everything she said. Granted, I haven't been divorced, or traveled across the world, or lived on the upper east coast, but I could definitely relate. Okay I'm getting sidetracked. I'm just saying, it was a great book for me, but it has some language, and it does go on a bit about the depression. If you can't/don't want to handle that, then don't read it. :)

MY POINT: It's not about being the most accomplished or loved, the wealthiest or the smartest, the most attractive, or the most talented. LIFE is about bringing your own happiness to you in everything you do, finding peace in your storm of a life ("we're just a million little gods causin' rainstorms, turning every good thing to rust!" -af :)) and making good choices, and then you can fulfill your purpose, to live this life the best that you can, and help your brothers and sisters on the way. Of course, this is much easier for me to embrace than to practice, (especially when Little Brother starts his second hour of "America's Funniest Home Videos" and turns it up louder...) but I think I've at least gotten to a point of contentment, that I know my happiness depends on me, and no one else. And our Heavenly Father can ALWAYS help me find it, no matter how hard it is.

All I can listen to lately is the dear Avett brothers. (Partly because they're so mild...I can't listen to anything very loud these days, haha, which is so weird, but SUCH a blessing in preparation.) Their lyrics are so sincere and simple and happy, even the saddest songs have a deep understanding that there's a much greater purpose in all of this. I love them. I want to see them before I die, definitely.

I can't wait to be "swept away" by "a [boy] that I adore", but I have lots to do before then. So. There's that. And no, I don't have my call yet. I don't know why, (I mean, technically, yes, I know why, if you really want to know, I'll tell you...) but I'm okay with it. Really. Maybe now me and Marsh will get them together, which would be AWESOME. The best answer sometimes is: just don't worry about it. So I'm not worrying about it. And I'll tell you when it comes, kay? Kay.
LOVE. bye.

twenty eleven.

twenty ten was good to me.



january-started working at the skyroom and made WONDERFUL friendies, started taking classes i actually enjoy and LOVED them, decided to stop being antisocial in the ward and was immediatly enveloped in loving, darling arms.


february-had some serious adventures (everything from the best of dance parties to three day trips to the coast), made some serious friends, and decided to open my heart for the first time in awhile.


march-continued adventuring, decided to put school and sleep to the back burner...haha. loved and learned a lot.


april-left my teenage self behind forever, barely made it through finals, and made the second best decision of the year: to stay in provo for the summer. also learned, strengthened important older and newer friendships. became an AUNT.


may-began the summer of FREEDOM and AWESOMENESS. started being social...er, in the ward, and adventured more (including nice little visit to the red rocks of moab). oh, and became a mother, which triggered more excellent best friendships.


june-i found the warmth i'd been looking for since february, and loosened up, working three jobs within a job, broke some bad habits, relaxed, plaaaayed, and visited mickey and the ocean with the famdam.


july-by now, i'd discovered provo was exploding with excellence, from the people to the books to the weather to the sidewalks. celebrated our country's bombness with the fammer in the mountains. broke free again.


august-sipped constantly from the sweetness of relaxation and summer, simultaneously started exploding with anticipation of everything(missionaries coming and going, schooool, friends back in provo, etc.), crammed in more fun than was legal, i'm sure.


september-started school with my head on straight, with a perfect schedule. celebrated two beloved birthdays, and gushed with joy in reunions...still insisted it was summer in every spare moment, and provo weather agreed with me. decided to go for sure.


october-delved deeper into classes, fell in love again with a darling ward and adorable roommates, had some final trio adventures for a few years, established the best dinner club in the history of mankind, made more bests, loved living in ptown with four siblings and a nephew.


november-sent off ANOTHER best, but it was happy this time, with my final realization that their leaving me to serve a mission is SO much more important. period. crammed in more provo fun, loved bests and famdam, thanked and ate turkey.


december-began to panic that this beautiful phase was ending soon, and schooled, played, and loved it up. celebrated the birth of Christ, reflected on the best year ever, and how i'm going to make every year after this equally bomb. the end.